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Depression Guide

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Helping someone with depression

How to support a friend or family member with depression: what helps, what doesn't, the warning signs that need help now, and looking after yourself.

Under clinical review. Written from the sources listed below; updated October 18, 2026.

When someone you care about has depression, it's hard to know what to say. You don't need the perfect words. Showing up, listening, and helping them get care can make a real difference.

Signs that need help right away

Call or text 988 for guidance, or 911 in an emergency, if someone:

  • Talks about wanting to die, or about being a burden to others
  • Looks for ways to end their life, or makes a plan
  • Says goodbye or gives away important things
  • Withdraws from everyone, or has sudden mood changes
  • Uses much more alcohol or drugs, or acts recklessly

It's OK to ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide?" Asking doesn't put the idea in someone's head. It shows you care and opens the door to help.

If they say yes: stay with them or keep in touch, help keep them away from anything they could use to hurt themselves, and help them connect with 988. You can call 988 together.

What helps

  • Listen without trying to fix everything. "That sounds really hard" is often enough.
  • Remind them depression is common and treatable, and that it isn't their fault.
  • Offer practical help: finding a therapist, making the call together, a ride to an appointment.
  • Keep inviting them to things, even if they often say no.
  • Check in again later. Small, regular contact matters.

What doesn't help

  • Telling them to "snap out of it" or "think positive".
  • Comparing their situation to someone else's.
  • Taking it personally when they pull away. That's often the depression.
  • Promising to keep a secret about suicide. Their safety comes first.

Helping them find care

You can go through our check-in together, or browse the directory. Our guide on contacting a provider has scripts that make the first call easier.

Look after yourself too

Supporting someone can be tiring. It's OK to set limits and to get support of your own. NAMI Family-to-Family is a free class for family members of people with mental health conditions; NAMI Keystone Pennsylvania can help you find one. 988 is there for you too, not only for the person you're worried about.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 any time.

Crisis help, including lines in your county

Sources

  1. 5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide, National Institute of Mental Health
  2. Warning Signs of Suicide, National Institute of Mental Health
  3. Help someone else, 988 Lifeline
  4. NAMI Keystone Pennsylvania, NAMI Keystone Pennsylvania

This guide is general information, not medical advice. Something wrong or unclear? Tell us.

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